3.28.2009

Hating the Hurt

My Dad used to yell at me a lot when I was little, and I thought it made me stronger. I mean, I thought that if I could bear my own Dad's shouting, I could take anyone’s shouting. It makes sense, right? But it turns out I was wrong. Because when others yell at me, it’s like my scabs peel off inside. I think I can handle it, but each time someone yells, I feel this new remembrance wave crash upon me.

And I think that one of the main reasons we hate is so we can’t be hurt anymore – because hate is the opposite of love, and the people we love are the ones who have the power to hurt us. So when they do hurt us, there’s nothing else like it, because we trusted them not to. It’s kind of like they betrayed us in a way.

That’s why we sometimes hate most deeply what we’ve loved most intensely - like parents, or, for some, God. We feel like they’ve let us down, when we trusted them. And there’s no real way to stop loving someone you’ve truly loved, but we start hating – because of hurt. And it’s not that we stop loving exactly –although maybe we think so– it’s just that we start covering it with hate.

But is there a way out? I guess we have to make an effort, have to make a set-will, a goal, to look past hate. And sometimes we have to realize that when people hurt us, they don’t really know what they’re doing. Okay, maybe they do – but they have no idea what extent they’re hurting us - after all, we loved them, and they probably loved us. For God, for some of us, we just have trust that he knows what he’s doing.

As for me, you could ask anyone, and they would tell you I’ve never yelled.

15 comments:

ashlea014 said...

i completely agree.

Jill said...

That's so true.

Tunafish said...

Wow. I just found this Blog and I think that it's pretty good! I guess that I want to encourage you to keep living for GOD and putting Him first. The way that we have to react to the way that we let ourselves be hurt by others is to be accepting and gracious. I find it hard to do but our Lord will give us the continual strength that we need to learn to depend on. Basically the Bible's message is to love. If you learn that, you'll have no problems. :) Life is guaranteed to be hard but we have the assurance of being rewarded by our Savior who loved us to His death. Rejoice in that!

Falling Wings of Glass said...

Be careful to say that you've never done something. Fate has a bitter sense of humor.

•¦Amy¦• said...

That's so incredibly true.

I've also grown up around yelling, be it my parents or dance teachers, and when you can cope with those people that are closest to you you think you can handle it all. . .but you can't, and it's hard not to want to hate or get angry in reaction.

Wonderful post dear.

Just a girl name said...

I understand your point well
but i agree with Falling Wings of Glass

Prince Trase said...

That's true. But we, being the bigger person, has to see past the hate. But at times, it's hard to spread the love. :)

Kelvin Oliver said...

Very good post you have here. I must say that I do scream when I need to scream, but I do not like using loud voices or getting aggressive; it does not seem like me.

Savy said...

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

I loved your post, I completely agree. Your posts are like my emotions translated and written down in words. It sounds weird but that's why I love reading your blog so much. It gives such insight and makes me question myself and discover something new.

<3

Rafé said...

very true...and sometimes, the object of our hate grows into someone different thats not so hated

James said...

There is just one part of your blog that I must disagree with. The opposite of love is not hatred, it is nunbness. A state in which someone or something feels nothing. Consider this, love is the most powerful emotion within our language. Yet, hate itself is an emotion itself, and both make u do something. Love allows you to sacrifice something, as well as hate. Would it not be more accurate that we can say the opposite of love is devoid of emotion? I can relate to the post, however. I have a friend who hurt me so greatly. They have no idea how much they have hurt me. So much. I enjoy your blog.

Kendra Logan said...

Wow, very cool and very true!

MoonShaw said...

This is such an .adjectiveicantfind. post! Awesome way of putting thoughts into words, and the truth of it hit me. I'll be back!
p.s. the .adjectiveicanfind. is a positive thing, in case you were wondering. ;)

C.L. Dawn Yang said...

This one so touched my heart, but I believe all (heartbreak)break are lucky because bones are often strongest at the broken places. Continued be a love giver, this world only two kinds of people giver and taker...which one you want to be?

Glass Mannequin said...

Butterfly, you pick the most interesting topics to write about. I could (will) certainly tell you some interseting stories about yelling. I'm home for a few more hours and then I leave for Virginia from the Barracks on Tuesday.