11.15.2009

Fear is only a Word

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." -Marianne Williamson

For me, the most terrifying thing is having to watch something happen - something you want to change, something you have to change - and not being able to. Being helpless. That's the worst. It's watching someone you love die, it's finding something taken - stolen from you. Or it's even trying your best, but not making it. We say that our greatest fear is not that we aren't good enough, but that we are great beyond measure. I've often thought about that - it sounds nice, maybe it's even a profound thought. But it's not true.

Sometimes, when we stand watching something horrifying happening before our very eyes, we stand looking because there is nothing else we can do. We sometimes tell ourselves we can do anything, but we can't. We're human. We can't stop someone from dying no matter how much we love them, we can't always find again what we have lost. We can't be better than we are if we're our best, we can't change the world's problems in one day.

But we can try. In fact, sometimes the most we can do is try. Because it's better to try and fail than to be haunted by "what-ifs." The problem is that trying sets up often for a broken heart, because to truly succeed, we often have to fight with all our being. But I guess it's better to have a broken heart than a complete one, because a broken heart makes us feel - makes us comprehend - instead of being numb. After all, to truly be alive, we have to live.

(thanks for the comments - I love reading them - sorry haven't had time to reply)