8.29.2008

Trying not to Fall

So enough of the literary stuff for now . . . time to talk about what's going on in my life :) Today I'm kind of stuck and don't know what to do. My friends often say they wish they could be me, live my life, be in my family. But everyone has problems, even the people - especially the people - who appear not to.

So I'm starting my semester of college next week - I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm getting an associate, or a two-year degree. However, I found out that to get my degree in two years (and transfer to a larger college) I will have to take five classes each semester and, in addition, have to take classes in the summer. So I figured I would have to take all these classes while earning my blackbelt (testing for it this fall!) taking on a little job, and applying for colleges to transfer to (which includes figuring out what I want to do with my life, where I want to transfer to, writing, getting recommendations, etc.) which is a huge task, not to mention stressful. All of a sudden, everyone thinks I should know exactly what I want out of life, and what I want to do. Very crazy, but I'm prepared to take the challenge.

But wait, there's more. While my older siblings and I were waiting in line to reach the top of the Empire State Building (which is a very long line in more ways than one, I might add) my siblings started questioning me about the outlook of my future. They've always been concerned about my schooling because I've been home-schooled my whole life up until college now. They asked me the typical questions about what I thought I wanted to do, and where I might want transfer to when the time came, etc. Then they came to the question, "What about taking the SAT's and the GED for the college you transfer too?" And my answer's always been, "Mom says that college's won't care that I've not taken the SAT and the GED because I'll be considered a transfer student." (The small college I'm going to this fall doesn't require those tests.) My siblings responded, "Really? I wouldn't believe everything Mom and Dad say - they might be a little mixed up." And I could have sworn I had told my siblings before about this.

A couple days later, my older sister looks up on the internet to find that most transfer students DO need a high school diploma & SAT/ACT scores. So now I'm crushed, because I was just preparing myself for a meltdown - but for the different reasons. It's so hard when you see a glimpse of what could be, and then it's snatched away. I was hoping so hard to move out - planning & planning and now it has to change and wait a bit longer 'til I study and take those tests. I just wish my parents could have paid more attention to what I'm really supposed to be doing. I do love my parents, it's just harder trying to figure things out on my own.

(Please comment if you'd like to)

8 comments:

Glass Mannequin said...

Wow. I totally connected on, like, five different levels with how you feel. I'm home-schooled, too and I'm currently enrolled in a community college as well as the online classes that I'm taking. My parents are dropping the ball on a lot of the paperwork involved in concurrently enrolling me in college.

Anyways, I'm really good at helping people see thier futures clearly. (my friend reading over my shoulder wants me to change really to spectacularly) (or phenomenally, she says)

So if you want someone to talk to, I think that I can totally help.

Oh, and what type of music do you play? I read that you compose. What kind of stuff? I do, too.

Courtney craig said...

Hey, thanks for commenting on my blog... Wish you all the best with those tests!

God bless.

Cranberry Applehead said...

hey! thanks SOOOO much for reading my reviews! I just (like 10 minutes ago) added a book and a video game. Well, thanks again! Also, help spread the word! Thanks! http://cranberryapplehead.blogspot.com/

Katelyn said...

where are u going to school! Thanks for the comment!

Glass Mannequin said...

My aren't you popular, now?

mariposa said...

I know :) Thanks for the comments, everyone!

--Emilyyy-- said...

See you are very smart. You comment on people's profiles and in return they comment on yours... :)

By the way good luck on those tests.

Allegra said...

I know how you feel. I thought I would never be able to go to college. But God is good and provides for you at just the right time. If it is supposed to happen, it will. That sounds funky, and of course, you want to work hard and do all that you can. But ultimately, if He wants it to happen, it will, despite the mistakes you or your parents make.